


For You

by Aston (AstonT)



Series: Life In Color [43]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A Choice with No Regrets, Canon-Typical Violence, Character name spelled as Farlan, I'm Bad At Tagging, Introspection, Tags May Change, acwnr spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-16 23:02:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstonT/pseuds/Aston
Summary: Song Inspiration: I'll Fight by Daughtry."I wanna see you run anywhere you want, never let the darkness hold you back, no fear of getting lost."





	1. Isabel

**Author's Note:**

> ...I'd like to point out that I'm still working at writing for this fandom - this is only my second work for it.   
>  That said, I haven't read the manga yet, though I have begun reading the No Regrets manga, and there are hints towards it - mostly coming up in the brief mentions of Isabel being assaulted.

Levi's opinion of Isabel when they first met is one of uncertainty paired with a protectiveness that he hadn't felt in such a strong sense in his life. 

She was vibrant and energetic and so full of life that she made her surroundings shine despite the horrible conditions they found themselves in. 

Full of fight and every bit as hopeful as they'd been needing in their life in the Underground, Levi always thought she deserved so much more than the hand she'd been dealt. 

And he understood pretty easily just how much the darkness of their world tried to taint her light - she was too bright, she drew the darkest shadows to her without trying. But nothing that anyone could do to her actively taint her - she was far too stubborn for that.

That knowledge didn't keep Levi from dispatching the scum who thought that they could lay a hand on her while Farlan kept an eye on her to make sure she was okay. 

He hated seeing her tears more than he hated feeling so helpless. And so, he stopped thinking of the people who hurt her as human - it was less painful to think of them as worthless animals when he killed them, dirtying his once clean hands with their blood. 

As long as it kept her safe, he'd do it. Because in his mind, she deserved no less than the best they could offer her.

* * *

 

She continued to be their sun in their darkest times while they lived Underground, giving them hope when their jobs went belly-up immediately and someone in their band of thieves got hurt. 

She went into every day like it was her first and last, and Levi almost wished he could do the same, because damn wouldn't that make it so much easier to survive in such a filthy world?

But she dimmed a little when they were captured and turned to the surface as part of the Survey Corps - her fear overwhelmed her excitement and Levi hated that her light had been dimmed in such a way because they'd been caught. 

It was easy enough to shield her in the Underground hell that they'd called 'home' for so long, but here? Neither he nor Farlan knew anything about the surface, not enough to protect themselves, much less her. 

It sure as hell didn't stop them from trying, though. 

And eventually, her fear was overwhelmed by her excitement and wonder as she took in the world around the three of them. 

She became just as bright as the sun again, bringing her own energy and life force into a world that had lacked such a free spirited hope. 

Levi noticed the different even if nobody else did - she gave the other soldiers hope in a way that they just weren't meant to. 

But he wasn't about to correct her behavior when she was living how she deserved - in the sunlight, on the surface, _free_.

* * *

 

Losing her was one of the hardest things that he'd ever gone through. 

His memories of her stayed bright - vivid and emotional and so, _so_ painful when he realized that he'd failed as her 'big brother'. 

He hadn't been there to help her when she'd needed him most. 

All that blood on his hands became for nothing more than vengeance that he couldn't remember the reason behind once she was gone. 

He'd hoped when she first came falling into their lives that she'd have a better life than them, but he knew that wasn't meant to be as he stared at her head - bright green eyes glassy and fearful and lifeless. 

Her absence left his heart a little colder, left his life without a direction in a way that sent him reeling because _damn, was this really what his life had been before her?_

He was just glad that she'd never once gotten lost in her life - she stayed true to who she always had been. 

And for the barest of moments, she had been free. She had done what she'd always wanted and gone to the surface and had _lived_. 

And that had to be enough. 

But it wasn't, and Levi knew that. 


	2. Farlan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anything you're ever gonna dream, I pray that it will come"

The first thing that Levi learned about Farlan was how cunning the boy really was - not only in recruiting him as not only a member of his band of thieves but as a _leader_ of it. 

The second thing came upon moving into a shared living space with him. 

His dreams were so much bigger than he let on to their group. 

While they all wished for a taste of freedom, Farlan wanted to take it and never let go of it. 

He wanted all of it - a citizenship on the surface, freedom, and hope of survival beyond the next few minutes. 

He wanted so much more than he could say, and Levi understood. 

And that might be why Farlan never said anything about it to anyone besides Levi - and even then, only said something to Levi after prompting that came to the form of physically restraining the taller until he _fucking talked._

The hope in light, smokey eyes had been painful when he first saw it, and it still sent a pained shock through him to see it after - always when their comrades in the Underground were leaving.

* * *

 

His opinion of Farlan had only changed the barest amount from when they first met to when they became friends. 

Originally, he'd figured he would get along find with the taller, because he did what it took to survive. 

Now that he knew Farlan, he could see all the work that went into everything he did - all the care he gave their group and the gentle way he handled any issue that got thrown his way. 

That wasn't to say he wasn't ruthless because he was, but it was in such an underhanded way that it took a long time for it to register in your mind, even if you knew him. 

It was motivational and annoyingly useful in a way that they needed in such a hell-hole as the Underground.

* * *

 

Levi spent the nights he couldn't sleep, that he said he'd take the couch because he knew his insomnia wasn't going to relent and let him sleep much if at all, laid back to stare at the dark ceiling and _praying_ to any higher being he could think of that Farlan got to live his dreams came true even a little bit, even though none of their group was spiritual. 

It was beyond his control, so he did the only thing he could think of and pleaded silently that Farlan's life wasn't cut short before he got his taste of freedom, before he got to really live like he deserved.

* * *

 

When they got to the surface, Levi could see Farlan's look as part of his dreams came true - the taste of fresh air was refreshing and it seemed to shock energy into the usually calm, level headed boy, leaving Levi reeling at the change. 

If this is what he'd been missing from Farlan, he never wanted to return to the Underground, to the place that had killed this part of Farlan before they'd met because this was beautifully haunting and gave him so much hope for a future he never used to let himself dream of. 

Of course, their freedom was tainted by their service to the Survey Corps and their mission to kill Erwin Smith, but it was there and that's all that mattered. Levi would pay any price for the three of them to keep this. 

Their capture had answered all of Levi's desperate prayers to beings he didn't believe in, and it was definitely worth the bruised pride he bore to see Farlan's eyes so light and his expression so open with wonder as they stared at the stars the night before their first trip outside the walls.

* * *

 

Farlan's hopeful look only served to dig the knife deeper, though, when Levi saw him die and couldn't do anything to save him.


	3. Isabel & Farlan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But if you ever fall down straight to the bottom and you can't get back where you started, any place, any time, you gotta know for you I'll fight."

Whatever Levi had feared when they were first brought to the surface, it wasn't comparable to the agony of seeing his family dead. 

The two people who had given him such hope, such a passionate reason to live, were gone. 

And for a moment, all he could see was Isabel's severed head, green eyes wide and fearful and _lifeless_ staring at him. He wasn't sure what was worse, that she had died, or that she'd been so scared when she did, or that _he hadn't fucking been there._

He'd failed as her 'big brother'. 

Once the shock went through him, he looked up, trying to find Farlan, hoping against everything that at least one of them had made it out of this mess alive, that he wasn't the only one left. 

He caught eyes with Farlan - up in the air, clutched in the hand of the Titan that Levi _knew_ had killed Isabel. 

He was too far away. He'd never make it in time. 

And he supposed Farlan had known that, too, because his eyes were soft with understanding and his face was written in resignation to his fate and _god fucking damn it, that look wasn't meant for someone so kind as Farlan, why?!_

One final salute, a raised hand and a mouthed _goodbye._

And then Levi saw the Titan bite down and he saw the life leave Farlan and the numbness settled into his bones. 

He was almost content to just...sit there until he was also killed. 

But he threw a look between the bodies of his family, his comrades, the two people who had changed him so effortlessly for the better and decided that _no_ , he wasn't just going to give up. 

He was the only one of the three left alive, and he barely had the strength left in him to look up, but once his anger overtook the numbness and the sorrow, he was moving before he realized it. 

All his practice in the Underground with the 3DM Gear was coming in handy, and his practice on the _scum_ who had dared to touch his little sister and hurt her was kicking back in as he sliced and sliced until he knew there was no way that the monster was going to move again. 

He didn't make the cut to the back of the nape until last - he wanted the fucker to feel the same pain that he was feeling himself. 

He was covered in blood when Erwin showed up, a couple soldiers with him, and he didn't hesitate to put his blade - bloody and held in a white-knuckle grip - right up to the side of the Commander's neck, his eyes wild and full of every emotion he was trying his damnedest not to feel. 

Erwin didn't shy away, and Levi's eyes only dimmed when he realized that they'd been played. 

He'd known. 

The whole time. 

His gaze fell back to Isabel's head before his hand shook and he let his grip on his blade falter, letting it clatter to the muddy and blood soaked ground, following it himself shortly after as the anger faded and sorrow overtook him once more. 

He'd deny that he'd broken down in front of them until the day he died if asked, but damn his pride in that moment because everything he'd cared about had just been ripped away from him and _this wasn't meant to happen._

As much as he had wanted to finish the mission - knowing full well that had he gone through with it, the others would have killed him, and that would've served Levi just fine - he couldn't. 

And it was because of that that he only hesitated long enough to stare at his fallen friends before accepting his place in the Survey Corps for good. 

He was going to make their deaths _mean_ something. 


	4. Eren - Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wish that I could make the road easy, I wish that life was fair."

Levi wasn't sure exactly what all he had missed since they'd left the Walls on another expedition, but coming back through Wall Maria to see it abandoned wasn't heartening. 

Once they were inside Wall Rose, they caught word of what had happened - Wall Maria had fallen after a breach in Shiganshina. 

His first stop were the training grounds to see the new recruits, though he kept himself out of sight as he watched their first training session - it was just weeding out those who'd never survive training. He could pinpoint those who had seen the horrors in Shiganshina easily - they all had the same look to them.

He watched for another few moments before turning to leave, though he did put a request in for information straight from the Cadets about the fall of Shiganshina and Wall Maria.

* * *

 

The information was hard to digest, even just written on paper. Those Cadets had spared no detail about what they'd seen - some having witnessed less than the others. 

But oh, did he almost regret his decision to request this information when he found Eren Jaeger's. 

He'd gone into detail, and Levi could feel the emotion that the kid had put into this report. 

Considering it detailed witnessing his mother be eaten after being unable to save her from their - collapsed - house, Levi figured that his emotions had been haywire at best anyway. 

And if he were honest, he understood the pain that was so obvious in the written word - seeing family be eaten, be killed so brutally, and being unable to help them, to save them. Well, he knew that hurt from experience. 

It wasn't the first time he found himself wishing that no one had ever had to witness such a thing, and he doubted it would be the last either. 

As he set the reports aside, he sighed, filing what he'd learned away for if he needed it again. 

That night found him wishing that life wasn't the way it was. 

He wished he could make it easier on everyone else, but he knew that wasn't possible. He was doing everything he could to ensure the safety of everyone else, but it just wasn't enough in the long run. 

The death toll was still too high and the level of hope that people held was getting smaller and smaller by the day. 

For the first time in a while, he almost wished for the relative safety of his old life - at least then, he only had to fear other people, not Titans. 

Life wasn't fair in the slightest, and he knew that from experience. 

But that didn't mean he didn't wish he could make it more fair for others - especially for those kids who had seen such horrors and were still willing to give their lives to offer hope to others. 

It had taken him a little longer than it had them to make the decision to stick with it and really mean it after Farlan and Isabel, after all.


	5. Eren - Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't wanna see you cry, even when it rains, and I hope you don't forget this; you were born for better things."

The first time he officially meets Eren Jaeger, the kid is shackled and locked behind bars in a freaking basement like a criminal. 

All because people are scared of him. 

But once the kid is awake and aware and talking, Levi knows that he's just as scared as everyone else - he hasn't got a damn clue what's going on. 

And he figured that him and Erwin being here to talk to him wasn't helping matters - he could see aquamarine eyes shifting between the two of them warily, showing his fear in a way that his expression didn't. 

Levi let Erwin handle the talking, content to watch Eren carefully - he was taking in everything in hopes of finding a way to save the kid from what would become his death. Or even just a reason to fight harder than they already were to do so. 

And so, when they don't get anywhere with Erwin asking questions and talking - not that he was doing a good job of making the kid answer - Levi finally decided he'd had enough and spoke up. 

The response he got from the kid was exactly the reason he needed - this kid was hell bent on the Titan's destruction, just like he was. 

And so, Levi moved forward, feeling Erwin's eyes on him as he wrapped a hand around one of the bars separating them from the kid, his words falling easily, directed between Erwin and the kid himself. 

He saw the small flinch when the fact that he'd kill the kid if he had to came out, but they all knew it was necessary to say it.

* * *

 

The day of the Trial, though, Eren seemed a bit less open to everything upon being forced to kneel in front of everyone, hands trapped behind him. 

Levi saw the look of disbelief and fear when he spotted the two cadets nearby. He didn't want to think about why that expression passed over the kid's face, he just wanted it to leave and never return. 

But he didn't exactly have time to worry over that - the trial began pretty quickly following Eren's examination of his surroundings. 

He wasn't surprised by the quiet fear in the otherwise calm voice when he answered the questions being directed at him. 

But he had to admit, he was surprised by the lack of emotion on the boy's face as Nile Dok spoke. 

This wasn't showing any of the fire that Levi had seen before. 

Of course, that fire came back in the form of horror when Mikasa was asked about Eren attacking her, and in his anger when people started throwing out accusations about Mikasa also being a Titan Shifter. 

Levi barely listened to what the boy was sprouting - he knew what he was about to have to do, and got ready to do just that. 

What had struck him was the allegation that the girl and Eren had _killed_ three full grown adults - self defense or not, it surprised him. 

As soon as silence fell he was quick to move to follow through what they'd planned. 

He could hear the reactions from the kid's friends, but he ignored it and carried on. 

He saw the exact moment that Eren lost his fight. 

Erwin took the moment that Levi himself stopped talking to offer up their plan.

And just like that, Levi knew they'd won.

* * *

 

Levi watched as the others interacted with Eren after the Trial was over. 

The kid was a lot different now that he wasn't behind bars or restrained. He was calm and didn't seem anything like his sorrow-stricken self from his nights locked up. 

It was so easy and casual, comfortable, the way that Eren interacted with them - there was hesitance, especially when Erwin was the one talking to him, but it never overrode his gratefulness or his level of comfort with them. 

Levi moved to sit beside the kid, joining the conversation, just as Eren shook Erwin's hand and he pretended not to notice the choked back noise of fear or the flinch that came at the sudden proximity between them.

It stung a little to see him so afraid, but there was nothing he could do but patch up what he'd done over time. 

And so, he settled into his usual attitude with his Squad, keeping his voice calm as he spoke. 

The understanding that Eren presented was surprising, but something that made him feel much better.

* * *

 

It took a little bit - and Hanji discovering that Eren's Titan healing ability transferred into human form - for things to settle back down and the others to start heading back to their usual routines.

Once that had happened, Levi paused and looked back at Eren before he spoke. "You were made for a lot better than what you've been faced with, brat. Don't forget that and we'll get along just fine,"

He wasn't sure what made him say it - the last time he'd even thought such a thing about another person, it was about Farlan and Isabel - but it felt right.


End file.
